Full English Breakfast by Brennan Frank

Full English Breakfast by Brennan Frank

Aunt Brenda runs a guesthouse in Hastings. This town is a popular tourist destination. When people come here, they usually choose to stay at her guesthouse. Aunt Brenda takes great pride in her specialty – ‘Full English Breakfast’. Her husband Uncle Ralph is a butcher. All sausages provided by him are an integral part of the ‘Full English Breakfast’. All Aunt Brenda’s guests have tried the sausages and liked them. But Mr. Dunn is an exception. He refuses to eat the famous sausages because he is a vegetarian. He gave up eating meat for health reasons. Aunt Brenda doesn’t take no for an answer. She decides to lie to her guest and gives him meat sausages saying that they contain only soya and herbs. This lie has shocking consequences.

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Full English Breakfast by Brennan Frank

Time: the present

Place: Hastings, on the southeast coast of England

My Aunt Brenda owns a small hotel called the Sea View Guesthouse in Hastings. It’s got five bedrooms and it’s a very good guesthouse. People come from everywhere to stay there. Hastings is a good place to stay if you want to see the beautiful southeast coast of England. It’s an old town. Aunt Brenda’s house is over a hundred years old and she has managed it as a guesthouse for the last ten years. Aunt Brenda is a good-looking woman. Everybody says so. She’s almost forty years of age with red hair and a mind of her own. Her husband is my Uncle Ralph and he loves her very much. Her guests always like her too.

My Uncle Ralph is a local butcher and he has a shop. The shop is well known in the town. He provides all the meat for the guesthouse. His sausages, Aunt Brenda always says, are the best in England. She always persuades her guests to have them for breakfast. Her ‘Full English Breakfast’, as she calls it, is famous in Hastings. Brenda’s ‘Full English Breakfast’ includes bacon, eggs, mushrooms, tomatoes, toast and, of course, Uncle Ralph’s sausages.

They are the most important part of it. Aunt Brenda takes great pleasure in the fact that all of her guests have tried Ralph’s sausages and loved them.

All, that is, except Mr Dunn.

Full English Breakfast by Brennan Frank

‘Don’t you worry,’ Brenda told me. ‘I’ll make sure he eats Ralph’s sausages before he leaves here. Just you wait and see!’

Aunt Brenda’s ‘Full English Breakfast’ is mentioned in all the holiday web pages. It’s the reason why most people stay at the guesthouse. If you don’t eat it all, especially the sausages, she thinks you are just being rude. And there is no way she will accept that! She always likes to hear her guests say how much they enjoy the sausages. In fact, she expects them to say it.

Now don’t think for one moment that Ralph’s sausages are anything less than delicious. He makes sausages out of different kinds of meat. They are made in all kinds of different ways and flavours to please all kinds of tastes.

Except Mr Dunn’s.

You see, Mr Dunn was a vegetarian. A vegetarian doesn’t eat meat at all. No chicken, no beef, no pork and not even any fish. In fact, Mr Dunn didn’t even wear leather shoes. Even his sweaters, Brenda tells me, weren’t made of wool…

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